It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas....

    Well at least it is here at my house! :) The Christmas Tree is decorated and the lights have been turned on. I've wrapped a few of the pictures on the wall, decorated the lamp shades, made a ton of window clings, and I'm nowhere close to being done with my decorating this year! But it's been so fun and for it to be such a "frugal" year, it has turned out soooo cute! I will continue to chug along with the decorating as it's a lengthy process but as soon as I can I will post some pictures! :) Here's hoping everyone has a very happy Holiday Season!!!!

 

Till later

-Meems

A Time of Hardship…

Enduring a time of hardship is one of the hardest things people do…but it's even worse when your own family doesn't care. Things aren't going so well in my neck of the woods. Mr lost his job due to company cut backs and unfortunately hasn't been able to find a new one. When I very first moved back to the home state, my mother told me not to worry about anything… she would make sure that we had a stable place to live and now all of a sudden when I need her most, yet again I'm left to fall on my face! I understand that I'm a huge failure in life and haven't done things as everyone would have liked but ya know, geez. Isn't that what family is for? Aren't your parents supposed to be there to pick you up, to keep you from falling in the first place, to catch you when you do? I don't understand! I give up…as I'm truly to that point in my life.

 

Till later –

Meems

Why Do I Try So Hard??

    Why do I try so hard to achieve my goals in life? It seems the harder I try, the harder I fall. No matter what I do, it seems that my heart gets yanked out of my chest and stomped on, only to be put back in and for people to tell me to just MOVE ON! The one thing in life that I want the most seems so unachievable at the moment. It was so close, things were starting to look up, the light at the end of the tunnel had been turned back on and it literally was in the palm of my hand and now it's gone! This is ever so heartbreaking to me as it's something I've wanted for a very long time.

    What's even worse is that it's all beginning to feel like a HUGE game is being played! One minute everything is great and then the next my heart is being ripped out! Then I get told that I'll never be let go, whether by the side or in the heart! But in the heart just isn't enough for me. I long for so much more, I need more…the more time goes on, the deeper the feeling gets! Why? Is it because I try so hard and I get too attached to something that I should've never gotten attached to in the first place? It's such a right kind of wrong! Why does it feel like this? Why am I holding on? For what? Will it ever be MINE?

    There's times when I just wish everything would go away and I could go back to being 5 again…when I didn't have a care in the world! When all I was worried about was getting up and going to school and had absolutely no stress! I so wish I could type out how I feel but it, unfortunately; has to stay HIDDEN for a little longer… :( To top it all off, I watch as my K-Boo goes through all of the boy drama in her life and I just wish for once she would listen to me and know that all of this just isn't worth it at the age of 17! I want her to not make some of the same mistakes I've made in my life; that boys just aren't worth all the drama that they carry along beside them! Will she ever learn? I hate to watch her go through the same crap I have to go through or had to go through! Won't she please just listen to me!

    I know that I've done some pretty screwed up things in my life and I am definitely not PERFECT, but can't everyone just forgive and forget and move on? Can we just let bygones be bygones? I have tried to better myself and what do I get? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! :( Well thanks for listening to me vent…and spill my guts out about my life as I shed many tears again today! Here's hoping and having faith that things will work out for the best in the end!

 

Till next time-

Meems

 

PS: Crochet Update: progress is going well on the crochet projects! :) Gingerbread House is in the works and will start working on the Christmas Countdown ASAP! Only downfall – have to learn that once I start a project I should really not put it on a hiatus status! LOL

Pumpkins, Costumes, and Projects – Oh My!

    It has been absolutely the CRAZIEST week here!

There's been PUMPKIN CARVING
–

 

There's been SCHOOL PROJECTS
–

 

There's been HALLOWEEN COSTUMES handmade –

 

I've made Friendship Bread this week and I've even worked on a few Christmas ornaments (yes I know that it's only October)!

 

 

Though it's been an insanely crazy week, I've managed to get done everything that needs to be done completed with a few hours to spare!!!! Now just to get through the day without cranky children! Peanut is in one of her "ill" moods today and is in need of constant entertaining. :( Why? Why today does she have to be like this… Mama even said "You can't be cranky, it's Halloween". Do you think she cares? Of course not, but it doesn't help any that she wants it done and done NOW. She has asked me 900 times when are we gonna get started Mom. Apparently it's going to take 9 billion hours to do hair and makeup… NOT!

So there you have it… CRANKY at the house today! YUCK! Well at least I don't have anything else that HAS to be done today so I can just enjoy the day of crankies with a little therapy – coffee, hook & yarn, and the iPod in the ears!!!! FUN FUN!!!!

 

Till next time…

Meems

My Unwind Time…

    So the night didn't start off near as bad as my morning did. I just knew that things were going to be quite insane this afternoon after school. I had 1 with homework, and the other without – however she had a project that we had to get done. I thought for sure it would definitely prove to be interesting as normally Peanut requires "entertaining" someway somehow, and I knew that there was no way that I would be able to entertain her and help Sunshine complete her science project, but thank goodness for all of us – NO RAIN!!!! So Peanut was able to go down to her friends and luckily I was able to get Sunshine's project finished. Once the science project was finished and dinner out of the way, the girls went straight to bed pretty much, both had said that they were super sleepy. No big deal, if your body needs sleep then hey, get some rest! So then it was time for my "unwind time", so here I sit on the computer enjoying my quiet time and a cup of coffee…(oops, did I say coffee?? I'm not supposed to be drinking it right now because I haven't had near enough water for the day, but oh well.)

    The more you read my blog, the more you will find that COFFEE is my one TRUE guilty pleasure! I'm truly addicted and was recently told by my doctor that for every cup of coffee I drink, I need to drink a bottle of water, well OOPS – today that just didn't happen! Oh well…It will eventually. :) So with that being said – I think I will now call it a night and head to my room, grab my hook and yarn, and sit down and watch my Thursday night shows that are on the DVR! Woohoo – 1 day from Halloween and I still have 2 costumes to make and well yea, I guess I'll be doing that tomorrow! Sleep well and have a goodnight Blogland!

 

Till Next Time…

i
Meems

The Days Just Keep Getting Harder

So here we are on Thursday, just 2 short days before Halloween. My life is completely insane as is at the moment. My list of to-dos is still extremely long and my morning started off pretty funky anyway because I woke up with my back hurting. So here I sit pondering on the internet what crochet patterns I want to work on and looking for a recipe for Carolina BBQ for tomorrow, I get the call. :(

    What call you ask? The call from him to tell me he's just gotten bad news. Immediately my heart sinks… asking him what's wrong? He just found out that he's been laid off as the company he works for is doing budget cuts and is letting 1/4 of the company go. Well because he is a temp still, he's one of the first! :( So immediately I go into "freak-out" mode… stressing because it's the holidays, we are struggling as is, there are 5 kids in the house and now this?

    I have really just gotten to the point of no return. I cannot take anymore… the curve balls are coming a little quicker and a lot harder and I'm not sure that I can continue to dodge them! I know deep in my heart that this will pass just like all the others but it's really beginning to get hard to cope with. There is so much going on in my life and I officially feel like I'm on the bottom.

    There are days I wonder if life will ever get off the windy, bumpy road that it's on and straighten out. I know deep down that it will eventually all be fine but what about now? What do I do to continue to get through every day while I'm still traveling this path? I've been told all along that this wasn't going to be easy, that it would be a strenuous climb straight up the mountain side but GEEZ, really? Don't you think I've dealt with enough? How much more does one think I can take? If it's not one thing it's another…

    Luckily I have a few people in my life who do care enough to call and check on me from time to time and will listen when I need them the most! You know who you are!!!! Ok, so well enough of the "whine"…

    So my list of to-dos… I think it keeps growing but oh well, it will get finished eventually and everything will be marked off as complete!!!

/Sugar Cookie Halloween Costume

/Ace of spades Halloween Costume

/7 Christmas Stockings (1 completed)

/ Christmas Tree Ornaments (5 completed)

/ 5 Afghans

/ Teacher Gifts

/ Christmas Decorations

That's all that's on the list as of this very moment but I'm sure it will change… at which time I will update it! If you have gotten to the bottom of this blog, thanks for reading it as I'm sure no one really cares about my babbling! Really didn't intend for it to be quite so long!!!!

 

Till next time – 4 Meems

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so I'm really just having a horrid day! Things have been quiet insane around here anyway with all that's going on and now this! Are you freakin' serious? I can't take it anymore. I am still in shock and awe over the whole situation.

So I know that everyone is probably wondering what the heck I'm talking about and I can't really say, but just know I'm so frustrated beyond belief! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and hope that I can get through all of this!

Till next time -

Meems