After an awful tragedy and major scare here in town yesterday… there's a lot running through my head.
Yesterday afternoon just before 2 pm local time, there was a small plane to crash just after shortly taking off from our little hometown airport. Now mind you I don't live in a "tiny" town but I don't live in a huge one either. The plane (a small Cessna 310), took a nose dive right in to a field behind one of our big churches, just past a neighborhood full of homes, just about a mile from my baby's elementary school, and only a very short distance from our high school. Unfortunately, the plane disintegrated as soon as it hit and from what I've heard and read there wasn't even a fire, it all happened so quickly. It's a very sad situation. However, we as a town are lucky in all of this. How, you ask? We are lucky that the plane crashed in to a field and not in to a school or neighborhood, as there would have been many more fatalities.
Today, after sleeping on it overnight, I still am a firm believer to the fact that everyone has a purpose and once it has been served it is your time to go. Do you know what your sole purpose is here? Maybe you have a good inclination of what your purpose is here, but most likely even if you think you have a good idea of what it is, not necessarily is it the "one" that He has chosen for you. All of this got me thinking about my daddy and what his purpose was here and why he was taken at such an early age in life. I was young, Daddy was young, my kiddos were still just babies, and I had only been home from overseas for 5 short months when my world came crashing down.
After my daddy left us here on Earth and went to his eternal home to start his new life, I was very angry. You know what, maybe angry isn't even a great word to describe how I felt, I think IRATE is more the term. I was mad at God, I was mad at my Dad, I was mad at myself, I was mad at the world. Daddy was very young in my eyes, only 51 when he was taken from me… I wasn't ready for Daddy to go, he hadn't gotten to know my babies, I hadn't spent much time with him in my older years of life, and I surely hadn't gotten to know all of what I wanted to know when it all happened. But now after 10 years almost, I still believe that my daddy's purpose here on life was to teach and share his love of baseball. Yes I know that he was here to love me unconditionally and to help raise me, but ultimately I would still say it was baseball. I still miss him, more than ever. I love you Daddy!
Life has been such a beaten path along my walk in life, and there are days when I think will it ever smooth out? The road has been very bumpy, rocky, hilly, and full of craters that have just sucked me in… but I'm starting to see that there's a bigger picture, that God has never thrown anything at me that He knew I couldn't handle. But there are times that I still wonder, WHY ME? Now, I know that some will say it's because I've constantly done wrong, but there's also been wrong done to me. There are things in my life that I am NOT proud of, but I do not and will not regret those things and times. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for those things and times. Are there things in my past that I wish I could change? Of course, doesn't everyone? But at the same time I don't regret them. There are times that I wish I could have back, but we won't get in to that. There have been some pretty awesome memories made along the way, there are people that have left footprints on my heart, there are people that have taken a little piece of my heart with them along the way, there are people that have destroyed my feelings and crushed my heart, but I'm still here because He wants me to be. So with that being said, my goal for this week is try and continue on my beaten path and take the good with the bad and realize that there's a purpose for everything, that I am here for a reason, that my life is crazy and that's okay.
Ok, so if have made it this far I appreciate you for reading this because I got off topic toward the end. Sorry for my randomness.
Till next time-
The Nameless Blogger
